You might recall way back in Episode 3 (“Google”) Warren and Adam solicited the encyclopedic wisdom of a Peoria Public Library librarian named Alyce in a quest to find a hard and fast rule in determining what to call people from various cities and states.  Little did Alyce know at the time that we pitted her reference skills against the seemingly limitless power of the Google search engine.

Things looked good for Man in this battle against Machine as Adam found nary a clue for solving the riddle.  Then, in a stroke of Shakespearean irony, Alyce revealed that she and her colleagues had used Google, themselves!  People, you cannot make this stuff up.

Anyway, even though we didn’t solve the riddle that day, we found Alyce’s helpfulness and sportsmanship quite endearing and wished to send along a debt of thanks as well as a link to the episode so that she may enjoy the magic she helped create.

The PPL website accessed and contact form filled out, we sat back and waited for what surely would be a return email from Alyce thanking us for an opportunity to be featured in such a groundbreaking online web series.  However, the reply we received read as follows:

Hello Adam & Warren –

Thank you for the kudos!  Your email message appears to have been cut off – what is this web series you mentioned?

Thanks!

Alyce

The email goes on to include the contact form we submitted minus all the pertinent information and link.  The assumption is that we unwittingly ran out of characters.  The effect was truly Keystone Cops:

“… We wanted to let the PPL know (a) just how awesome and attentive Alice was with our query and (b) that her helpfulness was part of a web series we produce called”

So close!  There really is no worse place that email could have ended.  To remedy the situation, we sent our remorse/regrets and the missing information in a follow-up email to which, almost a month later, we have yet to receive a reply.  We hope it is not because Alyce, now with all the facts, is disappointed with (a) the quality of the episode or (b) the fact that she’d set the bar very high after the first email, thinking that the web series in question was, I don’t know, something more essential than Two Men Becoming Friends.

Sadly, we may never know why Alyce didn’t return our email or what she thinks about her role in the TMBF franchise.  What we do know — thanks to Adam’s father and a few inquisitive TMBF gumshoes — is that a demonym, also referred to as a gentilic, is a name for a resident of a locality and is derived from the name of the particular locality.  We also know that we’d have been better off calling the National Library of Australia.

How’s everybody doing?  Is everyone comfortable?  Good.  Adam and Warren strive to be the most accommodating hosts on the Internet, with the freshest wares and the smiliest smiles.

Truth told, we really do labor over these videos in hopes that the entire world, from central Illinois to east-central Illinois, gets a few kicks along the way.  We don’t want the hours spent in arduous struggle to be apparent by watching, though.  That would only be awkward for you, the viewer, as if knowing how much we put into this made you imagine the two of us sitting there staring at you while you watched, asking if you loved it.

What a terrible burden that would be.  Don’t worry, fans, we’ll save that unwanted pressure for the written introductions accompanying the videos.  As far as the episodes themselves, better to exude an air of aloofness and slapdashery.  This makes it more comfortable for you but also protects our fragile egos.

Rampant fears of rejection and self-doubt aside, putting these things together is a romp, even if it means sitting in front of a computer for five hours trying to decide which Jefferson Starship song to use as an outro, so don’t feel too bad about it.

Anyway, episode 4.  Technical gaffes, shoes, gift-giving, orgasms — this installment has it all.  As always, we hope you enjoy it blithely and with much mirth.  There is no pressure whatsoever for you to love it like your child, but just know, there kind of is.

Yours always,

Adam and Warren are slap happy and dehydrated, which can only mean that the Internet stork is on its way with a new episode of TMBF wrapped in a ball of white linen hanging from its beak.

WARREN:  We just finished taping.  As is typical, it was a harrowing experience that I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from.  Adam, I can’t feel my legs.

ADAM:  What did you say? I can’t feel my face.

Thus ends the dialogue because it’s 3:00 in the morning and Adam and Warren have hit a serious Great Wall of Creativity and cannot for the life of them think of a way to further the comedy of a back-and-forth dialogue.

Here’s a picture of Adam and Warren with the Easter Bunny (who is nearsighted, apparently/obviously).  Don’t eat too much candy this weekend, boys and girls, or Jesus will rise from the dead and smite you with thunder bolts.

Episode 4 is eminent. Goodbye.

17-1.  That was the final score after Adam and Warren’s late-night Super Nintendo Mario Kart exhibition, with Warren walking away the victor.  One wonders not so much how Warren beat Adam so thoroughly, but by what means did Adam win that one race?  Did Warren leave to use the restroom?  Was his controller unplugged?  Chaos theory?  We may never know.  What is certain is that Adam and Warren’s friendship is so resolute that even this complete and utter beatdown does not affect their relationship.

Understanding that most TMBF fans arrive at this URL via Facebook, on the off chance that there’s one lonely soul making his/her way to this eOasis from some other far-off iCove, TMBF offers the ubiquitous Facebook fan page found by clicking here.  Again, for the 99.9% of you coming from Facebook, disregard.  Here’s a little something for your troubles.

While we’re at it, let’s go ahead and solicit everybody for ideas and/or comments.  What would you like to see on Two Men Becoming Friends, sans nudity?

HEY, E’RYBODY!  READ THIS FIRST!

It’s prudent to mention before you watch this episode that Adam and Warren discuss Peoria, Illinois, and its attempt to become the lone test city in all the world for Google’s latest and greatest (?) invention — SUPER-FAST INTERNET FIBERS SPECTACULAR!!!

Read about Peoria’s gambit here: http://www.googleplaysinpeoria.com/

We also mention a video that city workers made to show Google just how much we want their Internet, which is so bad.  We want that experimental, highly toxic Internet so, so bad.  Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ff3pRKz8YA&feature=related

Now you can watch our video!  FINALLY!

Adam and Warren sit on the floor for a game of Scrabs.

[FRIEND NAME],
 
Hello and thank you for visiting the Two Men Becoming Friends web log. I’m Adam, and I’m Warren. Right now we’re taking turns writing every other letter through a complex intertwining of hands. It’s not awkward since we’re in complete natural harmony with each other as friends. Let’s just say that we have a pretty good idea what the other is spaghetti dinner.
 
Allow us to explain the title. Some have incorrectly assumed that the two of us have only recently entered the sacred union of friendship. That’s far from accurate. In fact, we have been friends since you were the merest of glints in your mother’s eye — maybe your father’s, too. It is our belief that no two friends have ever reached the end of the long Interstate highway of friendship. It is a work in progress, orange construction barrels and all, and we will always be “becoming friends,” to quote directly.
 
Please check back often for TMBF updates across various media platforms. You’ve enjoyed our videos, of course, but these will arrive erratically and without warning. They take an ungodly amount of time and a crew of seven to shoot, with editing often lasting through the night and into morning. There are moments after shooting where we only barely keep ourselves from pouring lighter fluid onto the DV tapes at the bottom of a waste paper basket and lighting them ablaze. Yet after these grueling editing sessions, the euphoria returns and we sleep at night without interruption.
 
Welcome to the show that brings friends together. Follow us often, approach us on the street (hello, Corrie!) and become our fan on Facebook since you can’t help but accept every single invitation.

 
We love you,
 Adam & Warren

What happens when two men become friends?